all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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