The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
