She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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