All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
