I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
