i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
