i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
