This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize