im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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