i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
