I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
