Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
is it fun? or sober?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
