I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
