I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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