Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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