Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
