her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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