I wanna passion pit in your ass
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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