I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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