Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
