when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
