you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
