This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
