I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
