I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
