I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
