You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
