yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
