I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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