Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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