Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
