did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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