corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
