and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
