i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
