My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
