Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
