im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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