You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
