Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
