He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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