what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
