so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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