Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
