you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this will be a night to untag.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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