she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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