She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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