Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
