he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she told me i tasted like america
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
