So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
