no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
