There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
