Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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